Post by KitaWita73 aka CC on Dec 19, 2004 14:13:51 GMT -5
This is a story I made up a few weeks ago but had been too lazy to type and post until now...
Act 1, Scene 1 - The Newsstand:
Pops: (Runs out the diner behind his help) Hey, come back here! You know I need you to wait on my customers!
Waiter: I told you to take your diner and stick it where the sun don’t shine! I’m outta here! (He storms out the front door as Marlon is walking in)
Marlon: Damn, what’s up with ol’ dude?! Did Pops forget to give him his annual raise of a nickel again?
Shawn: Nah, I think Chef-Boy-Ar-Flee finally came to his senses and realized that Pops wasn’t gonna up his pay to minimum wage.
Pops: Both of you shut up before I get my belt (Reaches for his belt buckle)
Marlon: (Walking over to the newsstand) Chill ol’ man!
Pops: I guess I’ll go call your momma to see if she can come down to help me out until I can replace that ol’ fool that just left.
Shawn: Hey, wait a minute, Pops! Don’t you remember? This is the day that Ma goes to get her moustache and goatee waxed.
Pops: Oh, you’re right. Boyyyyy, I can’t wait until your momma comes home alllll smooth and clean-shaven. It’s gonna be nothing but BANG! BANG! BANG! BANGING!!!! up in our bedroom tonight…yit-tee-deeee! (Breaks out into his happy dance while twirling his dishtowel around in the air).
Shawn & Marlon: Whoa! Hey!!!!
Marlon: C’mon, man! We don’t wanna hear all of that! Ewwwww!
Pops: (Throwing his dishtowel back over his shoulder with a smug look on his face) Jealous?
Shawn: (Leaning over on the newsstand counter while grabbing his stomach) Nah, more like nauseous!
Pops: Shut up! (Turns around to head back to work when he notices all of the customers pouring into the diner) Hey, Marlon! C’mon son, I need you to help me out with this crowd.
Marlon: I can’t, Pops.
Pops: Why not?!
Marlon: Because a customer just walked in that looks like she’s in need of help. (He quickly walks away before anything else can be said).
Pops: Well c’mon, Shawn; that leaves you.
Shawn: Ah c’mon, man! Why can’t Marlon do it?!
Pops: Because your brother is busy taking care of the newsstand while you’re just standing here…that’s why!
Shawn: Marlon ain’t busy doin’ nothing! He’s just trying to GET busy!
Pops: Boy, don’t make me get my belt! (Grabs for his belt buckle)
Shawn: Okay! Okay! But you betta hurry up and hire somebody! I have REAL money to make! (Turns to look at Marlon who is in the middle of a conversation with female customer) Hey, Marlon! Get over here and cover me until I can get back! I’m going to help Pops out for a lil’ while.
Marlon: Okay, but guess who this is? (He and the female customer come walking over to the newsstand)
Shawn: The first woman in life that hasn’t slapped your face? (He and Pops began to laugh and so does the female)
Marlon: No! This is Dee’s niece, Kiki.
Shawn: I can see the family resemblance! (Wears a big smile as his eyes drops to Kiki’s twins until he sees and feels a flashlight on the tip of his nose)
Dee: And if you wanna continue to see then you’ll put your eyes back where they belong!
Kiki: Hey, Aunt Dee!
Dee: Hey, sweetie!
(They give each other a big hug)
Kiki: I decided to come here a week early to surprise you! And to ask if I could stay with you until I can get the rest of my things shipped here to move into my new place?
Dee: Oh sure! That’s fine with me. You can stay with me for as long as you like until you can get situated and find a job.
Marlon: (With a big smile) Moving here?
Pops: (With a big grin) Job?
Dee: Yeah, so?
Shawn: Pops was just about to put up a help wanted sign because his help decided to leave.
Dee: Mmmph…I wonder why? (She gives Pops a smug look)
Kiki: If you have an opening, I’d be glad to take it because I could sure use the money.
Pops: Then the job is yours!
Dee: Wait a minute, I don’t think that’s a good idea!
Kiki: Why? I’ve been cooking and waiting on tables in momma’s restaurant for most of my life anyway. Besides, with the money I’ll make working here, you won’t have to deal with me that long in your place because I can move into my own place even sooner.
Dee: But see that’s it…I don’t think you’ll make that much…<br>
Pops: Money if you keep her from working! C’mon, cutie pie and let’s get you an apron!
Dee: Hey, Pops…c’mere for a minute. (She waves him back over with her flashlight as Kiki stands off to the side to wait on him)
Pops: What is it?
Dee: If you try to stiff my niece with the pay, you and this flashlight are gonna become very good friends. You understand?
Pops: (Taking a big gulp and nodding his head quickly while staring at the flashlight held close to his nose) Yes, sir! I, I mean yes ma’am!
Dee: (Smiling) Good! Now go on, your customers are becoming a lil’ rowdy.
Pops: (Walking back over to Kiki as they head inside the diner) So how does $35.00 an hour plus tips grab you?
Shawn & Marlon: (Leaning their heads back to get a good view of Kiki from behind as Pops holds the door open for her)
Dee: (Loudly clapping her hands) Hey! What are you two looking at?
Marlon: A whooooooooooole lotta boo-tay! (He and Shawn began to laugh)
Dee: Watch it! That’s my niece!
Shawn: Ah c’mon, Dee! I know she wasn’t blessed with all of that for us NOT to look!
Dee: Yeah, well, you just better behave yourselves! My niece didn’t come to live up here just to have hormone-crazed perverts looking at her.
Marlon: (Pointing his finger at Dee) I resent being called hormone-crazed!
Dee: (Rolling her eyes and taking a deep sigh) Anyway, let me get back to work! (Sees a bum walking inside the building) Hey! Get back outside!
Shawn: Well, let’s get back to work too. We gotta lot of new magazines to put out.
Marlon: Okay, in a minute…but first I think I’ll go see how Kiki is coming along in the diner. (A slow grin breaks out on his face as he saunters from behind the newsstand)
Shawn: Hey, you heard what Dee said about Kiki being off-limits.
Marlon: (Turning around to look at Shawn with a smirk on his face as he continues to walk backwards) Hey, son! Mack-Daddy Marlon has his way of getting around that! (As soon as he turns around, he bumps into Dee who’s blocking the door of the diner).
Dee: (Hitting her opened palm with her flashlight) Going somewhere?
Marlon: (Lets out a high-pitched scream) No, ummm…I was just getting back to work! (Takes off running back over to the newsstand and hides behind Shawn while peeking at Dee from over Shawn’s shoulder).
Dee: Good boy! (Walks back over to her desk, takes a seat, and props her feet up on the desk).
The Wayans Bros.: The Lost Episodes
“Dee’s Niece”
“Dee’s Niece”
Act 1, Scene 1 - The Newsstand:
Pops: (Runs out the diner behind his help) Hey, come back here! You know I need you to wait on my customers!
Waiter: I told you to take your diner and stick it where the sun don’t shine! I’m outta here! (He storms out the front door as Marlon is walking in)
Marlon: Damn, what’s up with ol’ dude?! Did Pops forget to give him his annual raise of a nickel again?
Shawn: Nah, I think Chef-Boy-Ar-Flee finally came to his senses and realized that Pops wasn’t gonna up his pay to minimum wage.
Pops: Both of you shut up before I get my belt (Reaches for his belt buckle)
Marlon: (Walking over to the newsstand) Chill ol’ man!
Pops: I guess I’ll go call your momma to see if she can come down to help me out until I can replace that ol’ fool that just left.
Shawn: Hey, wait a minute, Pops! Don’t you remember? This is the day that Ma goes to get her moustache and goatee waxed.
Pops: Oh, you’re right. Boyyyyy, I can’t wait until your momma comes home alllll smooth and clean-shaven. It’s gonna be nothing but BANG! BANG! BANG! BANGING!!!! up in our bedroom tonight…yit-tee-deeee! (Breaks out into his happy dance while twirling his dishtowel around in the air).
Shawn & Marlon: Whoa! Hey!!!!
Marlon: C’mon, man! We don’t wanna hear all of that! Ewwwww!
Pops: (Throwing his dishtowel back over his shoulder with a smug look on his face) Jealous?
Shawn: (Leaning over on the newsstand counter while grabbing his stomach) Nah, more like nauseous!
Pops: Shut up! (Turns around to head back to work when he notices all of the customers pouring into the diner) Hey, Marlon! C’mon son, I need you to help me out with this crowd.
Marlon: I can’t, Pops.
Pops: Why not?!
Marlon: Because a customer just walked in that looks like she’s in need of help. (He quickly walks away before anything else can be said).
Pops: Well c’mon, Shawn; that leaves you.
Shawn: Ah c’mon, man! Why can’t Marlon do it?!
Pops: Because your brother is busy taking care of the newsstand while you’re just standing here…that’s why!
Shawn: Marlon ain’t busy doin’ nothing! He’s just trying to GET busy!
Pops: Boy, don’t make me get my belt! (Grabs for his belt buckle)
Shawn: Okay! Okay! But you betta hurry up and hire somebody! I have REAL money to make! (Turns to look at Marlon who is in the middle of a conversation with female customer) Hey, Marlon! Get over here and cover me until I can get back! I’m going to help Pops out for a lil’ while.
Marlon: Okay, but guess who this is? (He and the female customer come walking over to the newsstand)
Shawn: The first woman in life that hasn’t slapped your face? (He and Pops began to laugh and so does the female)
Marlon: No! This is Dee’s niece, Kiki.
Shawn: I can see the family resemblance! (Wears a big smile as his eyes drops to Kiki’s twins until he sees and feels a flashlight on the tip of his nose)
Dee: And if you wanna continue to see then you’ll put your eyes back where they belong!
Kiki: Hey, Aunt Dee!
Dee: Hey, sweetie!
(They give each other a big hug)
Kiki: I decided to come here a week early to surprise you! And to ask if I could stay with you until I can get the rest of my things shipped here to move into my new place?
Dee: Oh sure! That’s fine with me. You can stay with me for as long as you like until you can get situated and find a job.
Marlon: (With a big smile) Moving here?
Pops: (With a big grin) Job?
Dee: Yeah, so?
Shawn: Pops was just about to put up a help wanted sign because his help decided to leave.
Dee: Mmmph…I wonder why? (She gives Pops a smug look)
Kiki: If you have an opening, I’d be glad to take it because I could sure use the money.
Pops: Then the job is yours!
Dee: Wait a minute, I don’t think that’s a good idea!
Kiki: Why? I’ve been cooking and waiting on tables in momma’s restaurant for most of my life anyway. Besides, with the money I’ll make working here, you won’t have to deal with me that long in your place because I can move into my own place even sooner.
Dee: But see that’s it…I don’t think you’ll make that much…<br>
Pops: Money if you keep her from working! C’mon, cutie pie and let’s get you an apron!
Dee: Hey, Pops…c’mere for a minute. (She waves him back over with her flashlight as Kiki stands off to the side to wait on him)
Pops: What is it?
Dee: If you try to stiff my niece with the pay, you and this flashlight are gonna become very good friends. You understand?
Pops: (Taking a big gulp and nodding his head quickly while staring at the flashlight held close to his nose) Yes, sir! I, I mean yes ma’am!
Dee: (Smiling) Good! Now go on, your customers are becoming a lil’ rowdy.
Pops: (Walking back over to Kiki as they head inside the diner) So how does $35.00 an hour plus tips grab you?
Shawn & Marlon: (Leaning their heads back to get a good view of Kiki from behind as Pops holds the door open for her)
Dee: (Loudly clapping her hands) Hey! What are you two looking at?
Marlon: A whooooooooooole lotta boo-tay! (He and Shawn began to laugh)
Dee: Watch it! That’s my niece!
Shawn: Ah c’mon, Dee! I know she wasn’t blessed with all of that for us NOT to look!
Dee: Yeah, well, you just better behave yourselves! My niece didn’t come to live up here just to have hormone-crazed perverts looking at her.
Marlon: (Pointing his finger at Dee) I resent being called hormone-crazed!
Dee: (Rolling her eyes and taking a deep sigh) Anyway, let me get back to work! (Sees a bum walking inside the building) Hey! Get back outside!
Shawn: Well, let’s get back to work too. We gotta lot of new magazines to put out.
Marlon: Okay, in a minute…but first I think I’ll go see how Kiki is coming along in the diner. (A slow grin breaks out on his face as he saunters from behind the newsstand)
Shawn: Hey, you heard what Dee said about Kiki being off-limits.
Marlon: (Turning around to look at Shawn with a smirk on his face as he continues to walk backwards) Hey, son! Mack-Daddy Marlon has his way of getting around that! (As soon as he turns around, he bumps into Dee who’s blocking the door of the diner).
Dee: (Hitting her opened palm with her flashlight) Going somewhere?
Marlon: (Lets out a high-pitched scream) No, ummm…I was just getting back to work! (Takes off running back over to the newsstand and hides behind Shawn while peeking at Dee from over Shawn’s shoulder).
Dee: Good boy! (Walks back over to her desk, takes a seat, and props her feet up on the desk).
[glow=yellow,1,200]*More comin' very soon*[/glow]
that's me!!
